i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
