I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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