And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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