last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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