I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.