we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?