Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.