I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers