kristin has been a bad kristin
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
babies were throwing up all over the place
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?