I wish i was in the wii world.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
