dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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