Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
