oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
