I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
