I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
