As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
