What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
third nipple confirmed
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
