I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
