I just made out with a guy for $7.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
