This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
