I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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