he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
