I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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