this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
These tits shall not be calmed
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
