There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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