If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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