i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
