you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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