awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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