forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
