she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
cat food counts as protein by the way
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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