I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
