My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The air taste purple.
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