I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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