Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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