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shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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