We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
