If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize