when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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