i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
