We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm having to shit out rocks
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