This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
