Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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