i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
