I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
