Say something about gay babies.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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