How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
