so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize