Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
