we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize