Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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