yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I cockslap morals
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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