He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
