whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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