the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
