shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Boobs speak an international language.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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