what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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