You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
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can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.