wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
