spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.