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I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
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