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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

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• (818): View more from California

  Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (512): View more from Texas

  will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I think I have vodka in my lungs

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend

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• (818): View more from California

  My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..

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