That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...