Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The power of my boobs compel you
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.