I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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