Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
