Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
