A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We were destined to go to rehab together
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
