Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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