went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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