the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
