you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
