I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
