wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
