I wish i was in the wii world.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
